This week, the company announces AI is the new team lead, so Dawg Raymond is currently teaching a laptop how to perfectly mimic his existential dread.

This week, our cube-cows watch the hyena steal an idea in the hallway and pitch it back in the next meeting, forty minutes later, as his own.

The performance of innocence when the truth is already yelling.

Denied is the only outside verdict on file. Compliance writes the checklist and signs the approval.

This week, the boss promises unlimited accessibility while maintaining a strict policy of selective deafness, and Dawg Raymond is logging every unanswered one-on-one.

This week, our cube-cows run a 15-minute standup for 45 minutes straight: yesterday was meetings, today is meetings, and the only blocker on the board is the meeting itself.

A figure with a suitcase walks away, then hesitantly peeks back through the door. People who leave on their own often return without an invite.

Red Impulsiveness and Reality Detachment get handled as a messaging problem first. The public readout is updated so the board deck can still show Leadership Confidence: Stable.

This week, the boss insists collaboration requires physical proximity, so Dawg Raymond is currently holding a high-stakes meeting with the empty chair across from him.

This week, one cow prepares the talk. The manager cow just can’t let the opportunity of a spotlight go: ‘As you can see from my work…’