This week, the herd experiments with boundaries; management helpfully rebrands them as growth opportunities.

This week, the robots do almost all the work and our cube-cows still commute, for the culture, of course, not the purpose.

This week, our cube-cows learn the true meaning of TLA: Three-Letter Acronym, also known as ‘strategy, but shorter.’

This week, we optimize AI the old-fashioned way: less guidance, more performance reviews.

This week, AI arrives to ‘unlock our potential’, and quietly locks the herd into a lifetime of premium vendor subscriptions.

This week, the bell curve decides who ‘exceeds expectations’ and who just needs more cowbell.

This week, our cube‑cows are freaking out about AGI, while the only one actually up for any work is still the rubber duck.

This week, our cube-cows are all in on SMART culture: your passion is ours now; Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-bound.

This week, our free-range knowledge cows get open pens, bottomless coffee, and just enough fence to keep the ideas from wandering off.

This week, our cow-workers discover AI ‘personalization’ for cognitive work: different brains, the same five tasks, one perfectly optimized herd.